There's No Business Like Gnome Business

Greetings from Illinois!

Clive the Gnome here. I thought I'd continue with the introductions I promised in my last post. You might be asking yourself, what exactly is a Gnome. In the dictionary it says we are folklore. A dwarf who dwells in the earth & guards its treasure. Let me stress right now that we are in no way related to elves, hobbits, gremlins, goblins, leprechauns, lilliputians, oompa loompas or dwarves. First, dwarves are entirely different species from Gnomes. I resent that we all get clumped together when we are entirely different beings. I've nothing against dwarves mind you. (Gnomes are well known to all as lovers and friends to all the do not promote hate.) In fact, dwarves are a very upstanding by the book race and very hard workers. They have great demeanors and they love their jobs. I've seen them whistle all the way to work on more than one occasion. I just don't like stereotypes. I resent being groupedtogether because of our heights and appearances. As for my stature, I prefer being called vertically challenged.

Secondly, don't be confused by the term folklore. That word tends to throw off a lot of people. It means traditional beliefs and legends. It does NOT imply we are imaginary or on the same level as the bogeyman, Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. (Though I've met two of the 3 of them and they are very nice people in their own right!) I am a flesh and blood Gnome. If you prick me, do I not bleed? I think...therefore, I am. Plus, as they say, the proof is in the pudding. You've got my pictures to prove it. Try to find a bigfoot picture as clear as mine and I'll eat my little red hat. I think I've made my point.

Thirdly, I neither live in the ground nor keep my treasures in the ground. Ok, I don't really have "treasures" so to speak. Don't get me wrong, I do OK. I'm still a catch for all you single ladies reading this. I just need that to be said because I'm currently single and ready to mingle if you get my meaning. (wink, wink) Financially I would say....I'm comfortable. I came into a little money in my younger years and thankfully I invested wisely. Buy low and sell high people!!! This is what allows me the opportunity to travel the world and view other cultures. I'm very well rounded as far as gnomes go. In fact, after the holidays I'm off again to continue my exploration of more foreign soils.

I realize I promised some insight into my personal life with this post, but I've rambled on long enough now and if I've learned anything in life, it's to leave them wanting for more. So until next time... Keep warm and Seasons Eatings!!!!